Part 9: The Summer of Love – JW Style

 

by Jay Walter

 

A moment of reflection:  Looking back, my family and me had come a long way.  There was much more to do, but I could taste sweet victory just ahead, just around the corner.  The light was at the end of the tunnel, and I hoped that it was not going to be a freight train.  There were, of course, loose ends to clean up.  Any major change in life brings with it a set of complications, like moving and changing addresses.  Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses was no less, but rather more so a complicated feat for me.  Like being engulfed by an Octopus, as you peel off one set of suction cups, another arm grabs you to keep you captive.  Only with great resolve can one hope to finally escape with their lives in tact.

 

A Call to the PO about my son:  I told my son that we needed to at least do something to deal with his error and the Elders.  I did not want a JC meeting with him.  He agreed with a sigh of relief.  So, I told him that the only Elder worth his salt was the PO, and if we have him over for some counseling, I would be there at all times to make sure it went well.  My son agreed.

 

I called the PO and explained that I was aware of my son’s indiscretion.  Given that he was an un-baptized Publisher, that just a private session was needed to provide some counseling.  He agreed.  I said that since I was in a ‘Holding’ status, that I would invite him over to the house to talk with my son and provide some gentle counseling.  At first he felt that I should handle it.  By this time I knew better.  I wanted to have the PO’s input so that Elders A and C would not turn this into a JC matter.  I simply told him that my son needed to start looking to the congregation and that this might serve as a good exercise to see how submission to the Elders really worked.  The PO consented and he came over the next evening.

 

The Doorbell rings- the PO Arrives:  I let the PO in, and we sat in the living room.  We had some coffee brewing and engaged in small talk.  I brought my son in and the three of us begin to talk.  The PO asked my son about what took place and how he felt now about it.  My son was perfect.  He stated the incident truthfully, and admitted his error, and concluded with a repentant attitude.  It was like he had trained for a Circuit Assembly part.  I did not like putting him through this, but he and I agreed that it was “politically” the best to keep the dynamic duo – Elders A and C at bay.  The PO offered kind words, a couple of scriptures, and obtained assurances from my son that this little episode would not happen again.  The PO closed with prayer, and it was now behind us.  I thought to myself, “One loose end down and Nine to go.

 

My Foot Found its way to my Mouth – like a bad habit:  “Oh, before you go Brother PO, did you read the latest Watchtower on Apostates?”  Why in God’s Holy Name I would open up a discussion about Apostates at this fragile stage is beyond me – I must have been having bouts of mental illness or something – maybe brain damage!  “Why yes, Brother Jay!  What did you think of that article?”  Please God, let me die!  Cut out my tongue so I will stop this lunacy!

 

I quickly recoiled and said that I would get the article because I had a question.  This might have appeared to be shooting myself in the foot a second time, but it was kind of productive as well.  We discussed the 3 Types of Hate that Christians (JWs that is) are allow or supposed to have – and Hate No. 3 is that of hating Apostates as enemies.  I then had the PO read from Luke 6 where Jesus said that he was telling us contrary to Jewish Organizational teaching, that God loves his enemies, and that we should too ... so why would the Society tell us to hate our enemies.

 

The PO responded with a straight face and said that the Bible was talking about our personal enemies, whereas the Society was talking about the enemies of God’s Organization.  Oh Really?  Where did it say that there were now two kinds of enemies?  I told him that I could not buy that argument and that Jesus words have to take priority for me.  He tried to reason with me ... but no, I was not satisfied to let it ride ... I wanted to squeeze the other Foot into my mouth for an even match.  I stated, after some more argumentation that upon the pain of being Disfellowshipped, I would NOT apply that Watchtower article in my life (I believe it was a July 1992 article).  The PO just stared at me!  I knew that this was the first big dent on our otherwise good relationship – yes, it was as though something had driven me to now cut this man loose from my attachment to the JWs.  What if I had done things differently?  I could have, but I doubt that it would have mattered – as I later discovered the PO too was another wolf in sheep’s clothing – it is just that his sheep’s covering was thicker and harder to peel.  I managed to finesse a positive closing so that the PO would not feel so alarmed, but the damage was done.  In time, the effects of this short visit would reveal its power.

 

The District Convention of 1992:  I was on fire for FREEDOM – so there was no way that I was going to blow a perfectly good summer by sitting in the ghastly uncomfortable and at times humid-hot Gill Coliseum at Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon.  No, I wanted to stay home!  This time my wife was up to attending.  We talked and she decided to go with the kids while I stayed home – a switch in roles for a change.  Our Golden Retriever was not doing well, and needed close attention.  So, I said that if anyone asks, I stayed so they could attend, because the dog needs me.  I thought that the JWs would respect my making such unselfish provisions for the family.  Oh NO ... the Summer of Love – JW style started with the snide gossip at the Convention.

 

Feedback came in over the next few days that I had no business staying home, and that attending the convention was far more important than a mere dog.  No consideration that this dog was very important to my wife’s mental health, as such animals are often recommended by mental health care professionals for the depressed – so that they can enjoy unconditional love.  And this dog was perfect, and brought much happiness to my wife – to our whole family.

 

Missing Meetings Makes One Worldly!  When I became a JW a period of adjustment was necessary because Catholics had to attend Mass at least on Sunday to keep from being guilty of Mortal Sin.  JWs were not under such obligation and it was a taste of Freedom to know that if I missed the Sunday Talk and Watchtower Study, that I would not go to Hellfire.

 

Now, as though the Society designed this Convention just for me as I was trying to exit, they came out with a new policy: Those who miss meetings are to be viewed as WORLDLY!  With the gossip running amuck about me and the Dog, it was only a matter of hours after this talk at the Convention that some were saying I was now WORLDLY!  But wait!  I was still appointed, and on “hold” according to the new and loving provision from the Faithful and Discreet Slave!  Now two months later, I am “Worldly” because I stayed home with a sick Dog, while my family got to go to the convention.  How Bizarre!  The biggest lead in the Gossip about me was the PO’s wife ... so I knew that I was doomed as she wielded a lot of power.  After the convention ended, I decided to keep my mouth shut, and let this gossip ride, and maybe it would go away.  My daughter’s wedding was close, and after that, I could let the house of cards collapse.  Or, so I thought.

 

NOTE: Since I did not attend the Convention, I never heard the Policy Change for myself, and I do not recall reading about it in subsequent Watchtower articles.  I did not read the literature much after my Resignation, and almost none since the Summer of 1992.  My family or someone who has heard or read this could make a comment, or cite a reference.

 

Talking to my Daughter and Son-in-Law to be:  After the Convention our “official” family studies had diminished, but our family informal “discussions” resumed as before but with greater frequency, spontaneity, and much more boldness as to the problems we saw with the JW religion.  So one evening, my daughter and her fiancee’ approached me to assure me that if I get DF’d or shunned, that they would never shun me, and that I will definitely get to know and love my grandchildren.  This was a treat – no, it was total a Victory!.  Now my Family Exit Plan was really close to the finish line.  We talked more and more, and I finally went upstairs and got – The Books – Crisis and In Search and gave my speech that I had given to the other children and my wife.  Like the others, while surprised about Ray Franz and where I was getting some of my information, they too opted for the “window of time” ... and we all agreed to remain incognito until after the Wedding in September.  At last – Sweet Victory – Thank You God!  And Lord Jesus Christ – even if you don’t like to carry on a conversation dear God, you at least answered this one – and I owe you.  I can now finish sliding out, and after the wedding, I will evaporate into the VOID!  Ha!  No such Luck!  I was dreaming!  No, my head was stuck in the sand ... the war was still raging ... and the Tribal Elders would soon amass yet another major attack.

 

The phone rings – It’s Elder A:  “Brother Jay, the CO is visiting, and will be out on shepherding calls. We have selected you and your family to enjoy this special Privilege!” ... Part 10: The Last CO Visit & Demise of Elder A. ... To Be Continued ...