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Hi! I speak to you with the utmost love and gratefullness to a wonderful God, I have known as Jehovah. My heart goes out to the many of you who have shared and to the many more of you who still live in painful isolation.
After many years 'in the "TRUTH", struggling to raise my 5 children alone, poor and with no car, and being constantly reminded that 'no brother would ever want me and my "burdens", I experianced being raped on 3 different occasions by my friends husband...someone I had known previously for 6 years.
I am still amazed, to this day, that I did not have a complete mental breakdown.
I went to the elders, as soon as I returned from a 3-day 'time-out', hiding in a hotel, drunk and crazily and uncontrollably crying, and told them what had happened.
I was informed that they would meet with me in 2 weeks, AFTER the Circuit Overseer's visit was over. (It was during this 'wait' that the 3rd rape occured)
I was mercilessly interrogated. I certainly understood why 'they just couldn't understand how it could have happened 3 different times' so I begged them to please stop with all the questions; to just call it 'fornication' and disfellowship me but their reply was, 'Oh, no! We don't want to disfellowship you! We are just trying to understand what happened!'
Sounds pretty understanding and loving, right? But there I was, feeling like a dirty whore, in utter shame, and futher traumatized by the knowledge that I "Looked Good"; I was a very pretty, blond, young woman, wearing a dress, showing my legs, in front of these 3 old men, all alone in a closed room.
They met with me 3-4 times, always wanting to know more of the 'details'. Among other comments was that I had shamed the congregation and disgraced the name of the 'good sisters' of the congregation. That the brother's had taken the 'burden' of me and my children on their shoulders and this was the thanks I gave them: a slap in the face. I was also told that if we were living in the days of the Israelites, I would be taken outside the city gates and stoned to death.
I was finally disfellowshipped for 1)Not saying I was sorry for what I had done 2)Refusing to tell the man's wife 3)Refusing to make a police report and 4) 'Refusing' to move to another location.
The brother's did not take into account that I had not finacial MEANS to move, the police would never believe me, and telling the wife, my friend, would have destroyed her and, as it was, on becoming disfellowshipped, she was the only friend I had.
The emotional trauma of a pretty young woman being interrogated for 'sexual misconduct' by old men who seem more interested in the sexual details than in the spiritual and emotional state of the woman is way too common. To this day, there are those who gossip about me. So be it. My younger brother has refused to see for all these 14 1/2 years. One of my son's does not speak to me nor am I allowed to have anything to do with my 2 grandsons.
But I am of thankful heart. I hold no bitterness. I am so grateful that Jehovah allowed what happeded because I would have died before I would have left the JW organization. I had seen many and experianced, for myself, situations of gross misconduct and it is true what you all say; that it is more a matter of 'Shut up. If we hear of you talking about this, you will be up before the committee for charges of slander and of causing disensions within the congregation.
This situation forced me to do a lot of re-thinking about my relationship with Jehovah. Through prayer, my heart was renewed and I was able to go to the Kingdom Hall, the night of my disfellowshipment, and sit, smiling, in my usual up front seat, and I smile through the meeting and through the announcement.
I walked home alone, through dark and rural streets, that night, with such an unspoken joy in my heart that I still cannot describe. At the time, I attributed the joy I felt to 'being right with Jehovah' in accepting his 'discipline', but I have since realized that Jehovah had seen fit to 'rip me out', to rescue me, from the organization that was killing me. I had experianced the joy of utter spiritual FREEDOM that comes from God and his dear son, Jesus Christ.
Let him heal you. Let love and peace fill your precious heart and enamate love for all the dear ones still suffering. Pray for them and always have love in your heart so that what 'they' may accuse you of can never be 'proved' as true!
I am not a JW, nor have ever been one, or ever plan on being one. I admit to knowing nothing about the religion. But I will admit to having been a victim of a JW member. And yes, I will submit his name, which is of public record. He was a high school teacher. In the city of Placerville, California. He molested many female students. Unfortunately it took many years and students, before one brave soul was able to speak up. Then the 2nd brave soul, and so forth. His name is Norm Van Brocklin. Not the football player, his uncle. He was prosecuted in the early 1980s, and was last known to be living in the Davis, California area. He also had been a teacher in the Orange County area. Lord knows how many victims he left there. I only found this site while researching the laws on "Mandated Reporters." As I am a victim and a mandated reporter. Prayers to all his vicims.
I got molested by my dad when i was in the 3 grade and right now he still lives with me ad i talked with a teach but they dont care so i am faceing lfe alone
One has to wonder why it is that "Free Minds, Inc." is not including other major religions. What about the survivors of sexual abuse who are Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Buddists... certainly victims who are of other religious denominations need a place to be heard and to heal. Sadly, that does not seem to be the purpose of this site. It seems that this site would prefer to cloud the actual issue of sexual abuse happening in every socio-economic, religious and racial segment of society to instead take out their dislike of a certain religious group in a public forum. That doesn't help ones who have suffered and are suffering.
There's a NEW Sexual Abuse Discussion Forum, entitled PREDATORS AMONG US MESSAGE BOARD/FORUM, URL:
http://pub29.bravenet.com/forum/show.asp?usernum=2470194466&cpv=1
Hi, whoever you are, (post Friday 2.01 at 10:59) how old are you and would you like to talk? email me at Xjwsis@aol.com
I was a victim of abuse. A lesbian pioneer sister "befriended" me when I started going to the Kingdom Hall. She was well thought of in the congregation and in her thirties and I was in junior high. I finally felt guilty and went to the elders. All except for one elder did not want to believe me. Eventually the pioneer sister confessed and was disfellowshipped. I was made to feel like a betrayer by the elders. I never received any counseling from any of them and my parents were never told of the incident. This was a depressing time for me and I thought of suicide. I thought I had done something very wrong by reporting her but my motive was to protect her next victim.
Does anyone know if there is any truth to the story on the net that 60 odd members of the Bethel family left bethel in the late 60's because of homosexual behavior, and that Nathan Knorr had it covered up?
Not that it would surprise me as they have been covering up for years!
i've just found your web site and i don't know what to say or what i think. I'm sat crying because i'm scared, i'm so scared you're right. I left the witnesses when i was thirteen. i@ve always blamed my fathers behaviour, and how what he was doing to me contradicted what the witnesses taught. but the whole system seemed geared up to support him and others. Physical abuse was almost actively encouraged. The question is what now??? Where do i go from here, even 7 years later i feel lost.!!!
I posted the message about the young minister in NYC who was a pederast. (For a moment I was going to say "had inappropriate relationships with young boys," but then I asked myself why shouldn't I call him what he was?)
Anyway, having been active in a NYC congregation for about 21 years, I was there when the gay scandal hit Bethel. I don't know how many guys were involved, but it was a sizeable number, and included some in the congregation I attended. So I can testify that yes, that happened. I'm sure it's not mentioned in the yearbook for that year.
Lastly, for the young woman who was violated at thirteen and now at twenty wonders what to do, let me tell you something: You were lied to. There is nothing wrong with you, and the world - yes, the WORLD outside the walls of the Watchtower - can be as beautiful NOW as you might have ever hoped it would be when you were a JW waiting for Paradise. The TRUTH is that there are good people and there are bad people everywhere, both outside and inside the walls of the Watchtower. You are young and can build a life for yourself that no phoney Jehovah can give you. First learn to forgive yourself, then get to know yourself, and learn to love yourself. Self esteem and self confidence are built in tiny steps one day at a time but can become a glorious edifice for your soul.
I was raised a JW. I had family members that were also JW's. I was molested as a kid, when my mother reported the situation the elders informed her that since the person at fault was not a JW that she just needed to report it to the boys parents and move on. 3 years later I was at a cousins home who is a JW, he has married a woman that has 6 kids, 5 daughters and a son. They have 2 more children together. My cousin who is a devout JW and his family were at every meeting, all in a row. I was at frequently at their home and hanging out with the kids, when I began to realize that I was being eyed and watched. I remebered this feeling from before. I decided that I no longer wante to visit my family anymore. A couple of years later my cousin was disfellowshipped for molesting his step daughters. He was reinstated 12 months later and is now an elder. All of his children and step children have since disassociated themselves. The have all been in jail, on drugs and in homosexual relationships at one time or another since then. The congregation that we grew up in says that these children have been influenced by the world and that is why they went bad. no mention of the years of abuse that they were subjected to. One of the problems that I have with the organization is that they believe that they can cure all ills with no medical or psychological background. Their answer to everything is disfellowship for a year and the problem is solved.
I went to prison for 3 yrs for molesting my daughter. It was the best thing that ever happen to me. It not only woke me up about my crime and sin, but it also broke the brain washing of the Watchtower mind control. After 23yrs I left the ORG. and became a Born in the Spirit, real Christian. I now live for my Lord and Savior Jesus. While incarcerated I met several JW's who were there for the same crime! ODD? I believe the authoritarian structure creates a hide and don't tell environment. I was never be good enough no matter how hard I tried! No matter how much field service I did, or meetings I attended. This may explains many of cases of molestation in the ORG..It is not about sex, it is about power, the lack of it. As one submits to the ORG, you must give up the identity of who you are. I lost my sence of self. As you give your self away...your power to the ORG.. I believe this may be a form of idol worship. In my weakness I convinced myself that the only one who loved me was my daughter,this happened a few months after my wife committed suicide. She too could never be good enough. I had no relationship with a Savior then as I have now. I put my trust in an ORG. ,not GOD. Thank you Jesus! He has been so good to me by breaking the spell and showing me how to trust HIM. Everyone who is molesting children needs to answer for there crime! They need help not safe refuge behind the skirt of Mother. Prison may not be the answer for everyone, but it sure worked for me! I gained back my self respect in therapy and through a relationship with Christ. My daughter is now married and doing well, but she will suffer the scares of abuse for life. I hope others will be exposed before it is too late.
I just became one and if seen both sides of the fence. I went from believing that jw's were anti-christ to believing and know they try to follow as much as people can the lead of Jesus Christ.EX; Priest all ways said they did not believ in Jesus.That David Kurresh down in Waco was a JW,that what the JW's did at church was have big huge orgies, I think just because wachtower was in the Jimmi Hendrix song that he was JW,I heard from an Italian person that they believed that they hung each other and hit each other with bats over the head, priest all ways said that they were not allowed to drink, that they were not allowed to laugh, not allowed to see there unbelieiving family, I can not even remember how much else there was so much, that was so rediculas you wonder how could people make you think that and not realize that your thinking and other's don't make any sense espeicialy when you start to talk to these people.I came to realization that it was false especialy after going to a few meetings and then being bombarted buy video's!!! that people took time and money to make against one of the only bunch of people in world that dont go to war and are for the most part good people. I never thought that I would ever become one especialy after burning magezine's in front of a couple when I was kid due to my prejugdest, that I did not realize. What's my point? You dont realy know what's happened due to prejugdest of each person. The reason I'm on this sight was for my wife that is remembering her child hood. I all ways knew since I met her that there was alot of beatings but now she's remebering sexual abuse by her dad who was posibly at the time was a JW ,but never that strong in it for long if you are were one you'd know what I'm talking about or if you were one you'd know what I'm talking about. The truth is he's not one today and never really was that strong, but when my wife went to the elder's with it they said every thing about going to the authorities and confronting him about this matter. It's still pending, but I know that there would be action on this allagation. Truth to this is that by ratio there's less with JW's, then there is with the rest of the religions. The reason this web sight is her is to smut more the JW's due to them being diffrent, just like when I was not one growing up I thought every bad represented JW's. If any one here reads the Greek Scripture's you would realize that the 1st Christian Congrations were persucuted and accused of alot not becoming of them. I never wrote that JW's are prefect and no man or men are but you can make a bible trianed desion if you look humbly & honestly if you want.
To the poster who admitted to child abuse and went to prison for it. I thank you for your post, I'm a victim of molestation by my own father I know what you are talking about. He never would have done what he did to me if he wasn't drunk at that time, he also is an alcoholic. And now after all these past years I am able to forgive him for that, however, I'm not able to forget and I do have moments when I can not look at him without feeling anger and I just have to leave his place. What I hold against him is that I think he should have noticed that he had a tendency for doing something like that. Some thoughts or desires and he should have realized it and should have gotten help. A lot of children have also been molested because of missguided love. But that also can be recognized and the person should get professional help when he or she does notice. Your comment made perfect sence to me and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you will keep that strenght you have found that something like that never happen again to another child. Then believe me, the pain and suffering a person goes through can not be put into words. No matter if a person was molested one time or a 100 times it is horrible to grow up with this feeling. The only way that people can heal is by speaking out and get a understanding about why this happend to them and for you why you did something like that. The damage will be done, but the pain will ease an both, you and your doughter may be able to go on with life somehow.
to the poster who went to prison for molesting his daughter. in fairness to you i will say yes it is good you feel responsible for your crime and that prison helped you. and i agree with you that a molester or pedophile is about power and control.and that is why i have to wonder why you are on this particular site. this is where those who have been abused sexually and emotionally by predators within the watchtower societies congregations and within these families, come to share their feelings and pain. most victims of molesting family members are faced with that old issue of power and controll. yes molesters know how to wield that in all sorts of forms. not just alcohol and violence but with sugar coated words, turning on the water works of tears at appropriate times, blaming everything and everyone accept themselves, and getting hurting weakened victims of this crime to feel sorry for them. This site must be a veritable feeding ground for men who have molested and controlled women in their families and congregations. Already we have seen verbal attackers against those on this list who have been harmed by thier spiritually abusive language of shame, guilt and denial. do those of us need to hear every incestuous, pedophile get on thier soap box claiming they have been cured by accepting jesus. that sounds familiar of every criminal behind bars. look, your power control trip against your daughter in the form of sexaul assault must have already been in existance and not the result of being conrolled by the watchtower. the watchtower and alcohol did not cause it. your perversion was already their. and how many others did you hurt besides your daughter? the statistics and the experts already say that a pedophile will only admit to what they think people already know. are you using this forum to weild more power and control. well we will see, i am sure. and you never mentioned much about your wife being suicidal. but spare the explanations for a pedophile support list. don't come around using this list for support. sheep don't hang with wolves and for damned good reason.
I live in Broken Arrow, Ok. I am a Christian and put Christ first in my life ALWAYS. I have a younger brother who is a "Witness" and has been for over ten years. He says he is an elder, I don't know. He married a JW women our mothers age. She at that time had a 12 year old daughter. This was before my brother was baptized. At that time he showed me a picture of Crystal (the daughter) and stated, "She is hot! When she is a couple of years older, I am getting some of that!" Flash forward. This now unwed JW teen has a daughter. This child is the spiting image of my brother. When one of my other brothers (non JW) went to visit Doug, he noticed that the girl still lived with Doug and his wife. And that she (daughter) was inclined to walk around the house nude. My non JW brother was appalled by Doug's lack of concern regarding Crystal's behavior. The only person that was bothered by Crystal's nude display, was Doug's wife. But not in the way you might expect. She was concerned that my non JW brother was looking at her naked daughter! Not that her daughter was parading around nude in front of her husband or guests, but that one of her guests might have looked at her! Now I would like to share an email my brother sent to me in regards to various postings and ex JW testimony I have on my web page. His email follows:
"Please don't send me anymore of this HOGWASH from X members. Like I said, there are a TON of folks in the organization, over 6.5 million now that came out of the churches and other false religions. Do you want to hear from then - NOT, you would rather get all of your "unbiased" info from ones who Used to be JWs (most of which were disfellowshiped because of smoking, and/or being immoral).
And as for all the phony baloney that you have published on your free web site, I have brought this to the notice of the WT legal department. You had better hope that those folks were baptized members, cause if any of it is lies or falsehood, they are Very active in law suits for slander.
At this point Greg, have a nice life, and I really don't care to hear from you again. All you want to do is spread lies, and I don't want to hear it. I don't see that your great "Christian" religion has done you any good. You have alienated most of your family, including your parents, you still smoke, from talking to you on the phone, I can see you still use foul language, you gamble, and don't see anything wrong with Halloween which is clearly pagan and satanic. I will pray that Jehovah opens your eyes someday, but if not, I really don't care to hear from you.
Enjoy your life with the falsehoods of Christendom, the ones who hate God's people and spread lies."
Interesting to note is that he ranks smokers right up with those of "being immoral." He does not expound on exaclty what this immorality is. He sent another email reply that i will post in a follow up.
Vist my page for more Freedom From The Watchtower testimony.
http://gwest59.tripod.com/ChristIsLord/index.html
I received this 02/12/01. Seems Doug thinks I sent him some sort of email, I didn't. Interesting though; note how he proclaims that the Watchtower "kicks out" those that don't conform to "bible living". Jesus came to earth and associated with the very people Doug mentions, sinners. So if JWs do not associate with sinners, then their mission is strictly selfish. What good can come from converting those that don't need converting? Is that what Jesus taught? No, our Lord taught us to accept ALL and spread the word. Never once did Christ spew hatred as my brother Doug has.
Greg,
I don't appreciate your listing me with the apostate groups, (or sending me this garbage under the disguise of a free Yahoo account) that have no other purpose than to bad mouth the JWs. I don't read the crap anyway, I just hit the delete key when I see it. It is all the same, some person who got kicked out cause they could not live up to bible standards, and are bad mouthing the JW's.
JWs are nothing but a fine group of people who live their lives closer to the bible than any group I have ever seen (and I looked at em all - religions that is). So no matter how many X-Members send me their garbage, it is not going to make me quit a way of life that is more rewarding than any lifestyle available.
If you think we are horrible cause we teach people the bible (and not some man-made traditions like the Churches spoon feed to their non bible reading members i.e. Christmas, Halloween, Trinity, Purgatory, Hell Fire, Rapture, and all the other HOG WASH they dish out) then that is your option. I will report these spamming apostates (ones who have been kicked out because they could not live up to bible standards) to every Spam police organization on the net, and if you are signing me up for this crap it can be traced back to your ISP.
I don't want, need, desire, request, care, or see any reason at all for this Hogwash. Again, if you think you are getting unbiased info from all these X-Members - then you are a fool. Common sense tells you that you need to look at both sides, but you choose to read all this crap, and that is fine, just don't send it to me!!!!!!! I don't need some knotthead who got kicked out of the organization to tell me about the bible, what we believe, what they think, what I should think, or anything else. I have studied ALL religions and have chosen the only one that I see is following what Christ taught - PERIOD! I will not be even the slightest bit influenced by ANY letters from a bunch of bad mouthing, immoral smoking folks who have nothing better to do with their time than bad mouth a group of clean folks that don't put up with that mess, That is why they have been kicked out in the first place. (I don't read it anyway)
If they want that lifestyle, then Fine - go join the Baptists, or Methodist, or Catholics or any other of Christendom's religions. There is not a dimes worth of difference between them all, and they can be homo's, smokers, immoral thugs, and those groups don't care - you will be accepted. But Yes - we do kick them out of our group if they don't live up to bible standards. All the foul crap you are reading is from ones who could not measure up, so they are looking for a way to "get back" at Jehovah's people. It is a privilege to be able to associate with God's clean witnesses - a privilege that these ex-members lost.
You, or they, can hide behind a free yahoo address, but it can and Will be traced to the one who set up the account.
I have to wonder what Doug and WTBTS considers "immoral thugs," smokers or rapists and child molesters. To keep jus molesters in the Eldership is a disgrace before our Lord and does NOTHING to glorify His name. From studing WT literature, tracts, RSFTS, Charles Russell through the NEW Pres, Don Adams; I can ONLY conclude that the self proclaimed "true prophet" is nothing more than a satanic organization created to deceive, bilk and brain wash its followers. I pray that all of the victims posting here find solice in our Lord. Know that He NEVER left you. He was knocking on your door the whole time you were involved with the Soceity. His heart breaks for your situations and wants to comfort each of you. He is with you always. Visit my site for more info.
http://gwest59.tripod.com/ChristIsLord/index.html
I would very much like to create a page for your personal testimony. God bless you and welcome home.
My email is:
liveinchrist@hotmail.com
Wow the previous writer as some serious anger issues. Equating smoking with fornication or apostasy is quite a jump in moral judgement. I guess the writer also equates addictions with moral laws rather than treating it as a disease. The way the writer expresses himself shows a low level of education and discomfort in using the English language. This is typical of the cult since they eschew higher education or free thought. OOOh, you're going to report us! That makes me shiver in my boots. I do not hide behind an anonymous e mail address or fail to provide my name. If we are all liars then it must be mass hypnosis or genetic faults that cause us to lie so. When I read the postings about the abuse it is uncanny how similar the stories are. Just think, someone in Kansas has the same story as someone is New England. What did we do? Nothing, we don't even know each other yet we share a common thread. Is it some plot of the WT to fabricate persecution? Maybe it was in the drinking water at Bethel. I bet this writer hasn't read a book other than the WTs for a long while. Do you also rant at the evening news on TV when it doesn't fit your idea of what society should be. I sincerely feel sorry for you. I don't know how old you are, but you can always go back to school and get beyond crayons and coloring books. I did it! I am in college and learning what I missed all those years I wasted in the Borg. MY NAME IS: Mark H. Palo, my email is: palo50@yahoo.com and I live in Lowell, Mass. I just wanted to make it easier for you to report me. Oh boy, I can just see it now, the thought police smashing down my door and seizing my copy of Crisis of Conscience. Get a life!
Read the previous again. It is a copy pf an email my younger brother sent me. He is a JW elder. His response was to my web page, "Christ Is Lord." If you read the one before it you get the whole story. Read them both again.
I would consider myself a "dedicated cult buster", but I try to be as objective as possible when reading these entries. I try to base my arguments on morality and logic. It really disgusts me to see entries defending the Watchtower over these issues. However, it does no good to refute their arguments, because they don't think logically. Read for instance the refutation in one of the above entries. The person writes "didn't you read that these people would infiltrate the organization in the time of the end?" Then they ask us to "give people a break". Now according to the Watchtower, the "time of the end" has been 1914, 1918, 192something, and 1975. I guess we're just supposed to sweep child molestation under the carpet for up to 100 years because it's the "time of the end". Give me a break pal. Any organization who claims to be "Gods theocratic organization from which all truth flows on earth", is claiming infallibility (by definition, if it's from God, it is infallible). Obviously the society has failed miserably in several categories, so they are NOT what they claim. It is run by a group of aging power trippers who are the collective "God" of the organization. They are the people from which all this information flows, through their two hundred some odd writers. The Watchtower is a business machine of propaganda. Unfortunately their business is stealing souls from Jesus. The bible says it is through Jesus alone we are saved...unless you are a JW. Then you have an onslaught of other additional requirements. I have challenged a Kingdom hall overseer to debate on salvation and on the Watchtower's scripture twisted bible, and they never seem to have an answer for me. I'm sorry, the verdict is in... a cult is a cult.
I think you're disgusting. How dare you print such information without any proof. Anyone could write and say anything and you print it.
Why would you target only Jehovah Witnesses? You're evil.
This website seems to be turning into a place for arguments. One person writes something and someone else posts a contradictory statement. it doesn't seem to be supportive any more which i felt was the purpose. It is true that anybody can write anything but people have to have a reason for spending time writing these things. As for the letter above from the man who used to abuse. The following statement was right. i read it and just felt sick. I understand that abusers do feel regret and i'm glad his daughter can speak to him now. But it doesn't help the others who read it and have been abused.